Here is a collection of sounds derived from American films and television. All of these sound bites mean a great deal to me, having assumed icon status from repetition in the mediasphere. Download 'em, collect 'em, trade 'em. Needless to point out that I got them from someone who got them from someone else who probably taped them off his video recorder. Copyright? What that? Get a real job.


download instructions: click here

gratuitous woman in the frame

afault.wav 36.6K

from 2001

HAL: "I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit"

good error alert. 

blvuhavaltr4me.wav 28.4K

Homer Simpson

"I believe you have a letter for me"

good mail alert 

bond_james.wav  42,5K
Sean Connery (the only real James Bond)
"Bond...James Bond."

brain.wav 22K

Judy Garland as Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz"

"what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

buschick.wav 87.3K

Beavis and Butthead

"Hey Beavis, we're on a bus with chicks. Hey Baby..."

chore.wav 25.3K

Dan Ayckroyd in "Ghostbusters"

"That wasn't such a chore, now was it?"

good alert.

cndygrmfrmngo.wav 37.4K

Cleavon Little in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles"

"candygram for mongo"

e-mail alert

comeout.wav 40.9K

Jack Nicholson in "The Shining"

"Come out come out...wherever you are"

comm.wav 17.9K

star trek communicator from the classic series

crash.wav 22.8K

Peter Fonda in "Easy Rider"

"Think I'm gonna crash"

an excellent all-round alert for windows

dana_zool.wav 70,5K 
Bill Murray in Ghostbusters
"There is no Dana, only Zool."
"What a lovely singing voice you must have"

data.wav. 14.3K

Brent Spiner as Cmdr. Data in "Star Trek the Next Generation"

"captain, we are being hailed"

e-mail alert

deliverfmmars.wav 15.6K

bugs bunny "special delivery from mars"

dickless.wav  35K
Bill Murray in Ghostbusters
"Yes it's true....this man has no dick."

disconn.wav 72.2K

voice of HAL

"I know that you and frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen"

dsmail.wav 16.5K

groucho marx "any mail for me while I was gone?"

engage.wav 13K
Patrick Stewart as Jean Luc Picard

enufino.wav 35.7K

voice of HAL

"I'm sorry, dave, I don't have enough information"

evil_homer.wav 86.3K

Homer Simpson

"I am evil homer, I am evil homer.."

excellent.wav 18K
Dana Garvey as Garth in Wayne's World

fascinating.wav 2K

spock says "fascinating"

goatfarm.wav 89K
Dan Ayckroyd in "Dragnet"
"Every man has a dream to chase. Frank's was that goat farm."

grass.wav  370K

Peter Fonda and Jack Nicholson in "Easy Rider'

(peter takes a hit off a joint, offers it to jack)

j: Oh, no thanks, I got some o' my storebought right over here o' my own.

p: No man. This is grass.

j: You mean marijuana?

p: Yeah.

j: Lord have mercy, is that what that is? Lemmee see that.

grouchy.wav 62K

Jack Nicholson in "The Shining"

"I'm not feeling grouchy, I just want to finish my work"

hal-msg.wav  13K

the voice of HAL

"there is a message for you"

hereyare.wav 35K

bugs bunny "here y'are doc."

hobbies_fungus.wav 44K
"Egon" in Ghostbusters
"Do you have any hobbies?"
"I collect spores, molds and fungus."

humanerror.wav 33K

the voice of HAL

"It can only be attributable to human error"

illogical.wav  4,5K


"that sir, is illogical"

imapagan.wav 170,4K 
Tom Hanks in "Dragnet"
"Howdy. I'm Emil Muzz and I'm a pagan! A ha ha haaaa!"


johnny.wav 27,5K

Jack Nicholson in "The Shining"

"here's johnny"

justwhat.wav  27,7K

the voice of HAL

"just what do you think you're doing, dave?"

krktrans.wav  47,5K

William Shatner as Capt. Kirk

"Stand by to receive our transmission"

krusty.wav 13,2K

krusty the clown's laugh

listen_smell.wav 33K
Dan Ayckroyd again
"LISTEN! You smell something?"

livelong.wav 59K
Leonard Nimoy as Spock
"Live long and prosper"

liver.wav  138K

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in "The Silence of the Lambs"

"A census taker tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti..."

mailz_in.wav 50K

Carolyn Jones as Morticia Addams:  "Mail's in."

matrixeverywhere.wav 88,3K
"The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us."

melting.wav  70,6K

The witch in "The Wizard of Oz"

"You cursed rat! Look what you've done! I'm melting..melting!"

mindgoing.wav 63K

the voice of HAL

"My mind is going, there is no question about it."

good for signing off windows

mmm_cola.wav 71K
Homer Simpson
"mmmmmm.....invisible cola."

mmm_crime.wav 41K
Homer S.
"mmmmmm....organized crime"

mmm_chocolate.wav 31K homer simpson

mmm_fuzzy.wav19K  homer simpson

mmm_something.wav 28K
Homer S.

msg4usir.wav 25K from Monty Python's "Holy Grail"

Eric Idle "(arrow) Message for you sir..."

mypretty.wav 64,7Kfrom 'The Wizard of Oz"

"I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog too."

oeo.wav 87K

the witches guards sing O EEE O.

offer.wav 25,3K Marlon Brando in "The Godfather"

"I'm gonna make 'im an offer he can't refuse"

oldfrnd.wav 111K  Hannibal Lecter:

"I do wish we could chat longer but...I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye."

ozbike.wav 65K

the "bicycle music"  from wizard of oz

ozfire.wav  25K"The Wizard of Oz"

"How about a little fire, scarecrow?"

policy_plague.wav 60,6K
Mr. Burns (Simpsons)
"As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague."

puzzling.wav 57K

HAL: "It's puzzling. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before"

resistance.wav 5,7K
The Borg
"Resistance is futile"

rocket_pocket.wav 25K
Burns: "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket."
Smithers: "You don't have to tell me, sir."

rube.wav  528K

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter and Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling in "The Silence of the Lambs"


 You know what you look like to me with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. a well scrubbed hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash are you agent starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed. Pure West Virginia. What does your father do, is he a coalminer? Does he stink of the lamp? And oh how quickly the boys found you, all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars while you could only dream of getting out, getting anywhere, getting all the way to the F B I.

Starling: You see a lot, doctor.

simpsons_star_trek.wav 100,9K
George Takei, William Shatner, James Doohan

Sulu: "Captain, Klingons off the starboard bow."
Kirk: "Again with the Klingons! Mr. Scott, give me full power!"
Scotty: "It's no good captain! I canna reach the control panel!"

someday.wav  152K

Marlon Brando in "The Godfather"

"Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. Until that day accept this justice as a gift at my daughter's wedding day."

spock_hotdog.wav 9K
"Hey Spock! What do you want on your hot dog?"
"Surprise me."

stayfail.wav 24K

the voice of HAL

"and it will stay that way until it fails"

therapy.wav  89,7K"The Silence of the Lambs"

"If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?"

"Who can say? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere."

toto.wav 104K "The Wizard of Oz"

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

welcome_internet.wav 29K

Homer Simpson: "Welcome to the internet my friends. How can I help you?"

who_rang.wav  16K "The Wizard of Oz"

"who rang that bell?"



Downloading Instructions

To download any of these files, you can  left click on the link  and hear it in the media player attached to your browser. Whaddaya mean you don't have a media player attached to your browser? Sure you do. In windows, your default player will either engage automatically or you will be presented with a dialog screen with two options. In this case you want to select "Open from this location."

Alternatively you can right click on the link. When the dialog appears, you select "Save target as". Then you save it to a folder of your choice for later listening pleasure.

Sorry if you know this already. If you didn't, now you do. That's how I learned, somebody told me.

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