the outboard modules - an introduction

to return to the text mixer, click here

the transgeneriser

lazarus corporation transgeneriser module

the transgenderiser was specially developed with the help of surgeons from thailand to perform sex-change operations on your text. "he" is effortlessly turned into "she", "father" into "mother" and so on.

the transgeneriser is supplied with "class a" shielded casing to protect the user. please do not remove the casing while the transgenderiser is in operation, as some leakage of effect may occur. if leakage does occur, please seek the help of your nearest plastic surgeon.

the rasta rack

lazarus corporation rasta rack module

the rasta rack instantly mutates your text into a close approximation of rastafarian patois.

please note that as part of it's normal operating procedure, the rasta rack module emits a greenish-tinged and somewhat pungent smoke. please do not be alarmed - this is not a fault, but is rather part of the correct operation of the rasta rack.

however we do advise the wearing of breathing apparatus for users with bronchial complaints.

the burroughs style cut up engine

lazarus corporation burroughs style cut-up engine

the lazarus corporation have provided this cut-up engine to replicate the cut-up technique used by brion gysin, william burroughs and others.

this fine piece of technology was expertly lifted from the prone body of a junkie who was discovered "on the nod" in one of the more disreputable quarters of marrakech. it was marked with the maker's name of "benway" but apart from that nothing else is known about this marvellous piece of equipment.

expletive deleted module

lazarus corporation expletive deleted module

developed by the lazarus corporation in honour of the prudishness of the transcribers of the infamous watergate tapes. while they typed out word for word the scandal that was rocking america, they still had an eye for the moral health of the general public, and carefully deleted every swear word and obscenity.

however, rather than be accused of doctoring the transcriptions, they replaced every profanity with the words [expletive deleted], just like this module will.

to return to the text mixer, click here

the text mixing desk - from the lazarus corporation